Topic
Big Tech
Roasts of the companies running the algorithm-industrial complex.
Big Tech satire — the trillion-dollar handful who run the algorithm-industrial complex. We roast NVIDIA earnings theater, Meta's pivots, Google's AI lurch, Amazon's warehouse drama, and the Silicon Valley founder mythology that powers it all.
91 roasts in this topic and counting.
Every Big Tech roast we've published
- tech·SPICY 72
China Recovered Reusable Rocket, Swears It’s Not Copying SpaceX
PR spin says they admire the work; reality shows they just replicated the whole damn playbook.
- culture·SPICY 73
Brown Professor: We Cannot Choose to Become Idiots
AI cheating scandal hits Brown, and the faculty's spin is already failing harder than the students.
- entertainment·SPICY 72
Flatbush Zombies Architect Clings to Dead BlackBerry Dreams
Erick trades Coachella stages and heavyweight collabs for keyboard nostalgia no one asked for
- tech·SPICY 74
Absurdity Audit: SpaceX Millenary Milestone Buries Startup Rocket Hopes
Dedicated launches pile up while one company's Electron dreams stay grounded in endless paperwork.
- tech·MEDIUM 62
Amazon's Fire Tablet Quietly Swaps 3GB for 4GB
An Absurdity Audit reveals the 2023 model still trails every budget-minded rival by years.
- tech·SPICY 72
Godox C100 Audit: Transparent Screen Solves Problem No One Had
Point-and-shoot renaissance meets transparent LCD that turns viewfinding into performance art for influencers.
- tech·SPICY 88
Meta's Pocket Audit: Vibe-Coded Games, Zero Receipts
Quietly launched experimental toy turns prompt spam into 'interactive' mini-games no one asked for.
- tech·SPICY 88
Google's AI Buildout Just Slurped 37% More Electricity
The balancing act on emissions is really just code for 'we'll clean it up later while the grid melts now.'
- tech·MEDIUM 62
SpaceX Phone Prototype Vanishes in Post-IPO Audit
Musk labels the handset-like device report utterly false, right after investors got the tour.
- tech·SPICY 76
Ego Meter Explodes at TechCrunch Disrupt Builders Stage
Founders queue up for practical strategies that mostly involve convincing themselves the next pivot will save everything.
- tech·MEDIUM 62
Amazon Fires Sideloading Blame at Malware
New Fire Stick OS quietly kills third-party launchers while executives hide behind piracy excuses.
- tech·MEDIUM 62
Cursor's Mobile App: Now Supervise AI Agents From the Toilet
The company frames constant remote oversight as a feature, not a confession that its coding agents can't be left alone.
- finance·MEDIUM 58
Payments Chief Says AI Will Drive Next Digital Payment Growth
UPI apps just need AI to get competitive and finally land a viable commercial model
- tech·SPICY 74
Cook Calls Pricing 'Unsustainable' Then Jacks It Up
Apple's 'unavoidable' price hikes land hardest on the inch-sized upgrades nobody asked for.
- tech·SPICY 72
FTC Audit Blesses Musk Mesh Acquisition With Zero Scrutiny
Stealth startup pulled $50 million Series A then got scooped before lunch.
- tech·MEDIUM 62
Apple Turns MacBook Price Hike Into 'Better Deals' Spin
Rising memory costs arrive exactly when existing discounts needed a narrative boost.
- tech·SPICY 72
Apple's Flagship Headphones 'Discounted' Until Walmart Runs Dry
Amazon's already sold out, Walmart still has the AirPods Max 2 at $399, proving the 'deal' was mostly theater.
- tech·SPICY 73
Prime Day Apple Audit: Discounted Dreams, Zero Receipts
A formal review finds the best AirPods and smartwatch deals are mostly just Amazon doing Amazon things again.
- celebrities·MEDIUM 62
Frankel’s ‘Biggest Beauty Discovery’ Hits Prime Day Clearance
When every rave review lines up with the sale price, the discovery starts sounding more like a deal memo.
- finance·SPICY 75
SpaceX Stock Opens Blockbuster Then Immediately Starts Slumping
PR calls it healthy trading. Reality says the company hit public markets at peak delusion and gravity showed up fast.
- tech·SPICY 75
Apple Shuttered Its Unionized Location Over 'Declining Conditions'
The surrounding mall suddenly looked terrible the minute workers unionized, because nothing says coincidence like perfect timing.
- tech·SPICY 73
TechCrunch Founder Summit Audit Flags $190 Bootcamp Grift
Four days left to save cash on a summit that's basically paid networking cosplay for founders who already know it's crap.
- tech·SPICY 72
Tech Companies Blame AI for Layoffs They Planned Anyway
The running list of announced layoffs keeps growing as employers discover AI makes a convenient PR shield for chopping headcount.
- tech·SPICY 75
Google's Android Verification Timeline: An Absurdity Audit
A new system service rolls out this month, with bigger changes starting in September, because nothing says trust like official confirmation of supported app stores.
- tech·SPICY 74
Apple's Brazil App Store Lockdown Finally Cracks
Absurdity audit exposes how distribution control and competition only loosen when regulators force the issue.
- tech·MEDIUM 62
SpaceX Trading Debut Sends Ego Meter Into Orbit
Newly listed rocket maker vaults past Amazon and others in a masterclass of self-delusion.
- tech·MEDIUM 62
Ars Technica's Reader Survey Wants Your Voice Heard
The tech site polls readers on front page changes while already knowing exactly what the analytics say.
- tech·SPICY 72
Bastrop Hopes SpaceX IPO Means Fortunes, Gets Road Congestion
Residents of the 14,000-person town got a giant complex and now expect trickle-down magic from the historic offering.
- tech·SPICY 88
Verge Gift Guide Recommends Gadgets Over Fathers' Actual Drinks
Father's Day happening soon and The Verge still thinks dads want $400 tech instead of simple pleasures
- tech·SPICY 88
Sonos Play Speaker Audit Flags Portable Kitchen Scam
New Play model somehow becomes essential desk item while promising to work inside and outside like it's revolutionary.
- tech·MEDIUM 62
AI Startups Audit: The SpaceX IPO Ride Delusion
Startups trying to hitch a public offering wave forget they lack the actual rocket fuel.
- tech·MEDIUM 58
The Universal Remote's Impossible Control Fantasy
Companies keep selling one product to rule them all, yet the idea crumbles the moment you add a second TV brand.
- tech·MEDIUM 62
SpaceX Ego Meter: From Far-Out Odds to $2 Trillion Peak
Every new funding round and launch pushes the dial further into delusion territory for the unlikely juggernaut.
- finance·MEDIUM 61
SpaceX Trading Milestone Creates First Trillionaire
A 20 percent stock pop lets the world's richest person cross into 13-digit territory with zero new product shipped.
- tech·SPICY 72
Siri's Big Upgrade: 15 Years of Disastrous Bullshit
Even the most patient users get forgiven for expecting basic competence after this long.
- finance·MEDIUM 62
Absurdity Audit: Markets Bank on SpaceX and Iran Optimism
Wall Street's latest audit reveals stocks rising on diplomatic fantasies while oil dips and SpaceX fuels the rally.
- finance·SPICY 72
S&P Climbs on Iran Deal Fantasies and SpaceX IPO Hype
Investors treat vague peace whispers like gospel while salivating over SpaceX's record payday.
- finance·SPICY 73
SpaceX SPV Lock-Ups: Lower-Tier Investors Get Shafted
Post-IPO audit finds hidden fees and lengthy waits before anyone learns their real holdings.
- tech·SPICY 85
Blink's Six-Piece Bundle: Discounted Eyes on Everything
Prime Day marks a five-pack of outdoor cameras plus doorbell down to $167 because apparently one lens wasn't paranoid enough.
- tech·SPICY 72
Roborock Ego Meter Spikes as Q10 S5 Plus Hits Cut-Price Glory
The robovac's 'impressive' value claim escalates from casual discount to full delusion at $270.
- tech·SPICY 74
Zest App Claims Receipts Are the New AI Oracle
Transaction data now powers 'real' restaurant recommendations because your frequent spots weren't obvious enough.
- tech·MEDIUM 62
Absurdity Audit Slams Tech's Expensive AI Addiction
Report finds workloads could be handled by cheaper models without affecting results, rewriting the economics overnight.
- finance·SPICY 72
Wall Street Calls Tech Exodus a 'Rotation'
Investors are ditching all-weather earnings for anything promising better prospects while uncertainty still looms.
- finance·SPICY 72
Chipmaker Panic Exposes Markets' Thin-Skinned Escalation Fetish
Tech stocks fold like cheap suits while investors pretend 'jitters' are just a temporary speed bump.
- tech·MEDIUM 62
Apple Swears Its AI Stays Private on Google's Servers
Running models elsewhere supposedly changes nothing about who can see what.
- tech·SPICY 73
Apple's watchOS 27: Siri AI Edition, Same Old Delays
Redesigned grids and fitness tweaks sell the dream while support for actual help stays on the autumn maybe-later list.
- tech·SPICY 88
Google Hides Gemini 3.5 Upgrade Behind Enterprise Wall
NotebookLM gets antigravity and fresh Gemini flavor, but only if your company already pays the premium tax
- finance·MEDIUM 62
Absurdity Audit: Banks Weaponize SpaceX Listing for Elite Clients
Findings show Wall Street's management hustle hitting new lows as the rich buy front-row seats to the IPO.
- finance·MEDIUM 62
Markets Treat Good Jobs Data Like a Hostile Takeover
Tech-led selloff and missile headlines give equities the jitters while 'robust' growth revives interest-rate fears.
- tech·SPICY 75
Absurdity Audit: NASA Sheltered Astronauts in Dragon Over Leaks
Roscosmos findings force brief shelter as Russian module springs more holes than a colander in orbit.