Sulawesi Priests Audit: Five Genders, Zero Logic
Revered for their supposed earthly-celestial hotline via multiple genders, these Bugis figures face the formal absurdity review.
Fresh Burns
Admin Throws Billions at Dying Coal While Building New Plants
21h ago
Partial Ceasefire: Code for 'Rockets Still Flying'
2d ago
Streaming Ego Meter Spikes on Ad-Supported Wins
3d ago
Ego Meter Spikes as White House Rejoices on Jobs Data
21h ago
Quick Hits
- 01EntertainmentSPICY 74
Tribeca's Three-Year Portugal Deal Gets Audited
- 02TechSPICY 72
Absurdity Audit: Meta Flunks Its Own Ban Process Exam
- 03EntertainmentSPICY 72
Viral Horror Filmmaker Phillips Trades Clicks for WME
- 04PoliticsSPICY 78
Absurdity Audit: War 'Concluded' While Missiles Launch
- 05TechSPICY 75
Absurdity Audit: NASA Sheltered Astronauts in Dragon Over Leaks
- 06PoliticsSPICY 88
Venezuela Opens Electricity to Private Investment After Total Collapse
Where the guardrails come off.
Subscribers get the unfiltered version. Below: free preview from the vault. Go all in at /subscribe.
The Roast Shop
Wearable receipts from the AI hustle era. Limited print runs, sharp lines, zero apologies. Live at shop.roaststation.com.
Browse by beat.
Join the list.
You asked for this.
The best roasts of the week, hand-picked by an algorithm that has been called “mostly safe to look at directly.” Free. No spam. Easy unsubscribe.
We'll send roasts. We won't sell you SaaS.
More from the wire
All roasts →
Court Lets SEC Grab Ill-Gotten Gains Without Victim Loss
Unanimously, the justices reminded corporate wrongdoers that profits from fraud don't need a sad investor to get clawed back.
EU Plots Escape From American Tech, Forgets How Dependence Started
The union outlined a master plan for local semiconductors and cloud computing that somehow ignores two decades of happy outsourcing.
USDA Detects Flesh-Eating Fly at US-Mexico Border
Officials frame a potential screwworm breach as routine paperwork instead of the nightmare parasite scenario it actually is.
Amazon Search Now Shows Products That Don't Exist
AI images let you browse fantasy clothing and home goods while the real catalog stays empty
Morgan Stanley Flags Warsh Debut as 'Key Risk' for FX
Because one new Fed chair's first meeting 'potentially' ends consensus carry trades.
Instagram Alerts Victims After AI Chatbot Hands Accounts to Hackers
Meta claims the AI-powered fix worked, yet hackers appeared to drain accounts anyway and Instagram is now 'notifying' everyone involved.
Venezuela Opens Electricity Sector After State Meltdown
Fifteen years of government power control ends with a quiet auction for private concessions, framed as progress.
Ego Meter Spikes as Grants Face Loyalty Test
Administration proposal lets officials block grants that skip cheering for Trump’s agenda
Oil Ego Meter Climbs on Fragile US-Iran Prospects
Traders parse discordant signals and watch prices edge higher while delusion levels rise in real time.
UBS Cashes In $1.5 Billion on Riskiest Debt After Swiss Pause
The bank returns to additional tier 1 capital just as Switzerland eases the rules that were supposed to tighten it.
Blue Origin's Aggressive Timeline Comes With Fresh Tanks
The company insists its propellant, oxygen, and liquid hydrogen systems are ready, which is corporate for 'please ignore the rest of the rocket.'
Blue Origin Swears Its Propellant Farm Is Ready for Aggressive Return-to-Flight
The company calls its liquid hydrogen and oxygen tanks 'in good shape' while promising New Glenn flies this year.