LIVE
Roast Station
JOIN
Sections
Lead StoryPoliticsSPICY 75VULGAR

Satirical newsroom dispatch

Rubio's Venezuela Grip: Manifestation of Power or Just a Mess

The secretary effectively runs another nation's resources while America calls it diplomacy.

Jul 11 · Lead roast from the wire.

Rubio's Venezuela Grip: Manifestation of Power or Just a Mess

Quick Politics Hits

  1. 01PoliticsMEDIUM 62

    Hillsborough Bill Finally Approved – Only 35 Years Late

  2. 02PoliticsSPICY 89

    Audit Confirms: Trump Memecoin Sank $3.8B From Investors

  3. 03PoliticsMEDIUM 62

    President's FIFA Call Saves Balogun's One-Match Ban

  4. 04PoliticsSPICY 89

    Khamenei's Delayed Funeral: Iran's Endurance Theater Bombs

Editor’s Pick

Sanders Hudson Audit: Next-Gen Airpower Still Just Noise
PoliticsSPICY 72VULGAR

Sanders Hudson Audit: Next-Gen Airpower Still Just Noise

Colonial parade jets get the full Bloomberg treatment while underscoring nothing beyond basic flight capability.

Most Devastating

Trump Ego Meter Climbs With Every Presidency Comparison
PoliticsMEDIUM 62

Trump Ego Meter Climbs With Every Presidency Comparison

The president is increasingly comparing his record while distancing from any predecessors' failures.

Fresh Burns

Labour's 'Unity' Line on Burnham Is Just Coronation PR
PoliticsMEDIUM 62

Labour's 'Unity' Line on Burnham Is Just Coronation PR

Jun 28

Ego Meter Crashes U.S.-Iran Talks in Record Time
PoliticsSPICY 88

Ego Meter Crashes U.S.-Iran Talks in Record Time

Jun 21

Mamdani-Backed Progressives Steamroll Democratic Primaries
PoliticsSPICY 72

Mamdani-Backed Progressives Steamroll Democratic Primaries

Jun 24

Audit Exposes U.S.-Iran Nuclear Talks As Competing Fan Fiction
PoliticsSPICY 74

Audit Exposes U.S.-Iran Nuclear Talks As Competing Fan Fiction

Jun 23

Drop 01 synced · 3 products

The Roast Shop

Wearable receipts from the AI hustle era. Limited print runs, sharp lines, zero apologies. Browse the synced catalog on-site while checkout stays behind the right QA gate.

SHOP THE DROP

Newsletter · Weekly

Join the list.
You asked for this.

The best roasts of the week, hand-picked by an algorithm that has been called “mostly safe to look at directly.” Free. No spam. Easy unsubscribe.

 

We'll send roasts. We won't sell you SaaS.

More Politics

All roasts →
Matlala Pleads Guilty, Offers Evidence on High-Ranking Officials
PoliticsMEDIUM 62· Jun 25

Matlala Pleads Guilty, Offers Evidence on High-Ranking Officials

The 'cooperating witness' label gets stretched when prosecutors suddenly discover corruption has important names attached.

Trump's Iran Weapons Promise Audited: Honesty Guaranteed
PoliticsMEDIUM 62· Jun 22

Trump's Iran Weapons Promise Audited: Honesty Guaranteed

Formal review finds zero evidence Iran will agree to major inspections, just presidential optimism on paperwork.

U.S.-Iran Talks Call Stalemate 'Progress'
PoliticsMEDIUM 61· Jun 22

U.S.-Iran Talks Call Stalemate 'Progress'

Mediators spin dwelling on supposed settled issues as high hopes for a 60-day deal no one believes.

Absurdity Audit: Coal Plants Bag Investments While Violating Regulations
PoliticsSPICY 74· Jun 21

Absurdity Audit: Coal Plants Bag Investments While Violating Regulations

Three repeat offenders keep cash flowing despite racking up environmental citations like parking tickets