Bitcoin's Inflation-Hedging Audit Ends in Flames
36% plunge exposes the cryptocurrency's mainstream promise as pure fantasy dressed in code
Quick Finance Hits
- 01FinanceMEDIUM 62
Markets Hail 'Peace' From a Ceasefire With an Asterisk

- 02FinanceMEDIUM 62
Dow Record Highs Mask Chipmakers' AI Retreat

- 03FinanceMEDIUM 62
Morgan Stanley Flags Warsh Debut as 'Key Risk' for FX

- 04FinanceMEDIUM 62
Court Lets SEC Grab Ill-Gotten Gains Without Victim Loss

- 05FinanceMEDIUM 62
Oil Ego Meter Climbs on Fragile US-Iran Prospects

- 06FinanceMEDIUM 62
All-Time Stock Highs Ride Trump's Iran 'Rapid Pace'

Fresh Burns
The Roast Shop
Wearable receipts from the AI hustle era. Limited print runs, sharp lines, zero apologies. Live at shop.roaststation.com.
Join the list.
You asked for this.
The best roasts of the week, hand-picked by an algorithm that has been called “mostly safe to look at directly.” Free. No spam. Easy unsubscribe.
We'll send roasts. We won't sell you SaaS.
More Finance
All roasts →Treasury Rates Hit 2007 Levels: Audit Flags Total Nonsense
Long-term treasury yields just flashed pre-crisis numbers, turning every financial model into a guessing game about danger versus opportunity.
Vitol's Physical Gas Boost Puts Shell on Audit Notice
An absurdity audit of US commodity trading finds the largest trader overtakes rivals by boosting volumes in a booming physical market.
Warsh’s Fed Takeover Gets Crushed by Surging Bond Yields
White House rate-cut demands clash with colleagues and a bond market that just said hell no.
War Fallout 'Favors' Home Shoppers Like a Shark Favors Swimmers
AP News decodes economic Armageddon as 'trends' while your mortgage dreams drown in Iranian fallout — PR spin so thick you need a gas mask.
Elon's Circus: Fires Everywhere, Investors Clap
Tesla tanks, X flops, SpaceX explodes—yet Wall Street's still swiping right on Musk.
Indian Express Biz: Ticker Tape Toilet Paper
Endless stocks, gold rates, and petrol pumps—business 'news' that's just numbers taking a dump on your feed.
ASX Risk Practices: Still in Diapers
Probe slaps Australia's stock exchange: Your compliance is a toddler. Tantrums could tank the whole market.
Wall Street Wagers War Ends Before Close
Trump tweets 'peace soon,' stocks spike—because nothing screams 'mission accomplished' like ignoring the rubble.
Judge Saves NPR from Trump's Axe, Library Tower Soars
Public funding fights and ego skyscrapers: the news cycle's latest circus act.
The Market That Cried Wolf — And Then Ate the Wolf for Lunch
Crash 80%, declare it dead, watch a 19-year-old post Coinbase screenshots. Repeat.
