Roast Station
Every Roast, Properly Filed.
636 roasts in the newsroom so far. This page is the real browse surface: paginated, filterable, and built to keep the archive readable instead of pretending to be a second homepage.
FBI Decodes How Instagram Saved Post Nabs AI Porn Creep
The agency's breakdown turns 'anonymous posting without consent' into the world's shortest detective story.
Absurdity Audit: Lindberg’s $2B Insurance Vanishing Act
Formal review finds reserves for policyholders spent on jets, mansions, and a yacht that somehow needed 214 feet of runway.
NYT: Ukraine & Iran Wars Basically Cousins Now
Drone tech and backroom deals make every battlefield feel like the same spreadsheet.
Hollywood-Approved Knicks Merch: The New Playoff Ritual
Chalamet and Jenner bicoastal their way to Cleveland while the Knicks finally clinched something real
Absurdity Audit: Trump's Physical Clears the Lowest Bar
The president undergoes a routine exam at Walter Reed and somehow gets deemed in peak form despite turning 80.
China's Spent Rocket Stages: Audit Says Orbital Shitshow Continues
Analyst declares spent stages the most dangerous debris and confirms things will only keep getting worse.
Absurdity Audit: Ceasefire Takes Direct Hits During Talks
Iranian negotiators in Doha get a masterclass in timing as strikes redefine 'violation' on the clock.
Strategists: Iran War End Won't Save You From High Yields
Hand-wringing over war-related inflation hides the longer-term drivers that already wrecked borrowing costs
Sennheiser's Momentum 5 Audit: Basically the Same Damn Headphones
Four years later, replaceable battery saves the day while everything else coasts on predecessors
TechCrunch Battlefield 200: Apply Now to Lose Quietly
Applications close May 27 for the startup visibility that mostly means your rejection gets archived with the others.
Belugas Audit Themselves In The Mirror And Still Fail The Test
The white whales crash the short, contested list of animals that supposedly recognize their own reflection.
Auction Houses Choreographed A $2.5B Comeback By Moving Goalposts
Four years of flops get spun as success once they engineer lower expectations and avoid anything that might actually bomb.
Russia's 'Safety Advisory' to Nationals: Subtext Included
After the biggest overnight Ukrainian assaults, Moscow's fresh threats read like corporate crisis comms with extra missiles.
Hormuz Deal Audit Exposes 1,500-Ship Backlog Nightmare
An agreement followed by the complicated process of navigating a waterway still clogged with three-month-stranded vessels.
TechCrunch's 'Early Bird Savings' Is Just a Price Hike Countdown
Register now or pay the new increased prices for Disrupt 2026 because nothing says innovation like manufactured urgency in San Francisco.
Gadgets That Make Your Adulting Feel Like a Win
TechCrunch pushes kitchen robots for stirring soup and kneading dough as proof you've nailed adulthood.
Absurdity Audit: Trump's Iran Agreement Gets the Strait, Skips the Rest
President calls it groundbreaking while admitting the deal isn't even negotiated, with enrichment and missiles left untouched.
California's RV Crackdown Turns Homelessness Crisis Into Eyesore Theater
Politicians and neighbors declare war on vehicles while the actual problem stays parked.