Roast Station
Every Roast, Properly Filed.
636 roasts in the newsroom so far. This page is the real browse surface: paginated, filterable, and built to keep the archive readable instead of pretending to be a second homepage.
Clarkson's Emotional Interview Spins Show Exit Into Tragedy
February reveal turns seven seasons of talk into one long PR cry for relevance
Corgi Doubles Its Valuation in Three Weeks Like Math Is Optional
The insurance tech firm just announced another $106 million raise at $2.6 billion, proving Series B rounds can apparently multiply overnight when the hype machine runs hot.
Ego Meter Explodes: Prostate Screening for Only a Few Thousand
UK advisors decide dangerous genetic variants and family history are the sole qualifiers, because why screen when you can gatekeep cancer instead.
Rivian Audit Flags Rear Suspension Snaps on R1s
Federal investigation hits previously serviced vehicles after critical component failures left owners without control.
Thiel's Argentina Escape Sends Ego Meter Into Orbit
A billionaire's right-wing beliefs and US concerns fuel the ultimate relocation flex.
Russia's Kyiv Barrage Gets Audited for Maximum Noise
Major attacks followed by warnings look convincing until you check the stalled battlefield ledger.
Google Staffer Allegedly Turns Search Trends Into $1.2M Polymarket Haul
Prosecutors drop the now-unsealed complaint and suddenly everyone wonders how many more employees are quietly cashing in.
Absurdity Audit: Hurts-Brown 'Really Good' Relationship Passes No Tests
Quarterback and receiver skip all conversations yet still clear every vibe check despite the trade noise that continues.
Nuttall: Private Credit Trading Is ‘Likely’
KKR admits the obvious after Apollo tried turning illiquid debt into a casino side bet.
Warner Bros Discovery Borrows $15 Billion to Refinance Its Own Acquisition
Media giant prices investment-grade loans in a hot market, because nothing screams stability like prepping debt before Paramount swallows you whole.
Cave Keeps Two Villagers as Rescuers Say Search Continuing
Five emerge from the flooded trap while the missing stay missing in classic rescue phrasing
Feds Warn 'Anti-Tech Extremism' Is the New Threat
Law enforcement raises the alarm on a fresh category of danger that seems to mean anyone rolling their eyes at AI hype.
England Births Audit Flags 50-Year Low on Bringing Kids
First-time mothers keep delaying while the official excuse is the world simply isn't nice enough anymore
Hormuz Audit: Supertankers Bail, Traffic Crawls to Iran-Linked Remnants
Strait chokepoint turns ghost route after big ships exit, underscoring how one nation's moves can empty the world's busiest oil lane.
ElevenLabs Licenses Stan Lee to Resurrect Marvel Cameos
An expansive exclusive deal turns the creator into AI content while PR calls it legacy preservation.
Chess Closes Early on Broadway as Michele Bails in June
The revival folds weeks ahead of schedule, confirming the whole production was basically a star-powered pop-up shop.
Texas Redistricting Forces Dems Into Ego Deathmatch
Republican-led map turns two Democratic incumbents into rivals for one congressional seat.
NASA's 'Permanent' Moon Base Starts With Hopping Toys
The agency unveiled plans featuring drones and vehicles that bounce across the lunar surface like expensive, high-tech skippy balls.