Roast Station
Every Roast, Properly Filed.
636 roasts in the newsroom so far. This page is the real browse surface: paginated, filterable, and built to keep the archive readable instead of pretending to be a second homepage.
Google Hides Gemini 3.5 Upgrade Behind Enterprise Wall
NotebookLM gets antigravity and fresh Gemini flavor, but only if your company already pays the premium tax
Pentagon's China List: Released Then Ghosted
Administration flags Alibaba and others for military support before yanking the document with zero explaining.
Administration Eyes Denaturalize Button on 17 Immigrants
PR calls it 'setting sights on immigration' while quietly testing how to revoke citizenship already granted.
AI Weather Revolution Audit: Just Machine Learning’s Old Limits
Formal review finds the so-called climate science revolution is mostly recycled code dressed up as salvation.
Absurdity Audit: Banks Weaponize SpaceX Listing for Elite Clients
Findings show Wall Street's management hustle hitting new lows as the rich buy front-row seats to the IPO.
Iran and Israel's Missile Exchange Ends in Mutual Ego Wins
The ego meter ticks up with every claim that launching missiles and carrying out strikes somehow equals restraint
Bitcoin's $235B Crash Hides the Crypto Pivot No One Wants
The easiest way to understand the market just evaporated $235 billion, yet the spin insists a bigger shift across crypto is unfolding.
Markets Treat Good Jobs Data Like a Hostile Takeover
Tech-led selloff and missile headlines give equities the jitters while 'robust' growth revives interest-rate fears.
Ego Meter: Finch's Middleton College Tale Hits Peak Delusion
One almost-year fling gets exhumed at Phillips' wedding and suddenly it's royal intel.
Microsoft's See-Through Green Xbox Is Peak Nostalgia Tax
Absurdity audit confirms the 25th-anniversary console sells translucent plastic like it's revolutionary engineering.
OPEC's Oil Production Hike Gets Audited Into Oblivion
Symbolic output bump collides with Strait of Hormuz shutdown, leaving tankerloads stranded while ceasefire stays MIA
60 Minutes Calls Chaos a 'Cage Full of Tigers'
Surprise pick of a journalist-filmmaker to lead the famously combative newsroom starts with zero calm and maximum mess.
Russia's Flagship Forum Audited by Incoming Drones
Putin's big economic showcase in St Petersburg gets completely overshadowed while delegates pretend nothing is happening
Oil Ego Meter Hits 'Demand Destruction' Delusion Peak
Decades-old term sparks fresh claims that sky-high prices won't dent commodity demand one bit
Trump Administration Discussing OpenAI Equity for 'American Benefit'
President's plan turns AI success into a government ownership pitch with slick PR wrapping.
Mexico City's Airport Ego Meter Just Hit Critical Delusion
A 100-year-old terminal undergoes a $500 million renovation and officials insist it's enough for the World Cup hordes.
Russia's Flagship Economic Forum Audited Straight Into a Drone Strike
Putin's showcase got overshadowed by Ukrainian attacks while the spreadsheets cried for help.
NYT's 'Tips' for Managing Aging Parents' Money
Five ways to step in and one massive mistake to avoid when the family fortune needs adult supervision.