Monthly Highlights
The best roasts of
July 2026.
60 roasts went out in July 2026. Below: the top 25, ranked by editorial weight (severity × depth × thumbnail × tier). The sharpest takes, in descending order.
- 01tech·SPICY 88·UNHINGED
Google's AI Buildout Just Slurped 37% More Electricity
The balancing act on emissions is really just code for 'we'll clean it up later while the grid melts now.'
- 02finance·SPICY 88·UNHINGED
Memecoin Audit: 1M Investors Lost $3.8B on Trump Coin
Analytics reveal sophisticated traders printed while retail investors got the classic rug treatment.
- 03tech·SPICY 88·UNHINGED
Bending Spoons IPOs at $18B by Minimizing Luck
Co-founders rebrand their company's habit of buying beloved internet brands on life support as elite risk management.
- 04tech·SPICY 88·UNHINGED
Meta's Pocket Audit: Vibe-Coded Games, Zero Receipts
Quietly launched experimental toy turns prompt spam into 'interactive' mini-games no one asked for.
- 05culture·SPICY 88·UNHINGED
Ego Meter: $700 Portable Shower Hits Peak Delusion
Nothing screams backcountry authenticity like paying more than rent for festival hot water on demand.
- 06politics·SPICY 89·UNHINGED
Audit Confirms: Trump Memecoin Sank $3.8B From Investors
Nearly a million buyers lit nearly four billion on fire while the president pocketed $636 million in real gains.
- 07sports·SPICY 88·UNHINGED
McGregor vs Holloway Rematch Livestream: Pure Fiction, Zero Belts
Watch the promotion sell a lightweight fantasy while reality stays in Washington with zero actual fights booked.
- 08politics·SPICY 89·UNHINGED
Khamenei's Delayed Funeral: Iran's Endurance Theater Bombs
Long-delayed ceremonies for the ayatollah killed at the outset expose a regime patching holes with pageantry.
- 09world·SPICY 84·UNHINGED
Crocodile Audit Flags 'Containment Optional' Policy
Family credits rescuers while the patient remains stable at Addenbrooke's, proving nature still writes its own reports
- 10tech·SPICY 76·VULGAR
Ego Meter Explodes at TechCrunch Disrupt Builders Stage
Founders queue up for practical strategies that mostly involve convincing themselves the next pivot will save everything.
- 11world·SPICY 73·VULGAR
NHS Bribes You to Walk 30 Minutes Like It's Nobel-Worthy
Marathon a month scheme ropes in former Olympic medallist Brendan Foster to sell basic movement as achievement
- 12world·SPICY 75·VULGAR
Convicted Smuggler Godfather Hides Out in Leicestershire Village
The 'godfather' of French migrant camps is seeking asylum while living quietly in rural England, and the system is pretending that's normal.
- 13tech·SPICY 75·VULGAR
Xbox's 'Ecosystem Growth' Is PR for Microsoft Disaster
The Stepback newsletter calls it essential industry insight, but it's just Microsoft spinning failure with corporate euphemisms.
- 14entertainment·SPICY 73·VULGAR
Taylor’s Aunt Leaks ‘Intimate’ Wedding Crap Nobody Asked For
Inside the MSG spectacle, Taylor and her athlete cried on cue while 1,000 guests got PR-approved details.
- 15politics·SPICY 75·VULGAR
Rubio's Venezuela Grip: Manifestation of Power or Just a Mess
The secretary effectively runs another nation's resources while America calls it diplomacy.
- 16tech·SPICY 72·VULGAR
Godox C100 Audit: Transparent Screen Solves Problem No One Had
Point-and-shoot renaissance meets transparent LCD that turns viewfinding into performance art for influencers.
- 17finance·SPICY 74·VULGAR
Benchmark Climbs on Fresh Pipeline Fantasy
Minister drops a proposal, stocks rally like the project already prints money instead of headaches
- 18culture·SPICY 73·VULGAR
Brown Professor: We Cannot Choose to Become Idiots
AI cheating scandal hits Brown, and the faculty's spin is already failing harder than the students.
- 19tech·SPICY 72·VULGAR
China Recovered Reusable Rocket, Swears It’s Not Copying SpaceX
PR spin says they admire the work; reality shows they just replicated the whole damn playbook.
- 20world·SPICY 74·VULGAR
World's Largest Stadium Audits Vietnam's Economy — Result: Mostly Crap
Export numbers scream success while locals stew in the frustrations of an ambitious country that built monuments instead of fixes.
- 21world·SPICY 74·VULGAR
Russia's Gas Lines Torch the 'Totally Normal' Wartime Story
Officials swear supply hiccups are no big deal while stunned Russians queue for fuel and wonder what decade it is
- 22entertainment·SPICY 74·VULGAR
Emmy Ego Meter Hits Delusional Red as Pluribus Leads
Variety predictions turn awards ceremonies into a circle jerk of inflated hopes and Netflix power fantasies.
- 23entertainment·SPICY 73·VULGAR
Taylor Swift Booking Stage Time at Her Own Kelce Wedding
The singer wants to perform while legends watch, because nothing says romance like turning the vows into a setlist.
- 24celebrities·SPICY 72·VULGAR
Ego Meter Spikes as $26M Charity Flex Drops Pre-Wedding
Taylor and Travis announced donations to hospitals and after-school programs, proving nothing says humility like timing your generosity for maximum applause.
- 25politics·SPICY 74·VULGAR
China Spins Pastor Release as Trump Win After Religion Crackdown
Beijing detains then frees a pastor just in time to hand the president a headline while the crackdown keeps rolling.
Browse
All best-of lists →
Never miss the next batch
Weekly newsletter →